Lite -N- Up!
Smiles, Frowns and Exercise
You see them everywhere. On buses,
in lines, driving on the roads, in the store, and on the news.
They’re your friends, your neighbors, perhaps they’re even members of your own family. Call them
gloomy. Call them sour-puss. For they are people whose faces
seem perpetually frozen in a frown. But do you know why?
I remember reading somewhere that it takes more energy to frown than to smile. If that’s true then obviously these people are not energy conservationists. Because when you frown you use more facial muscles than when you smile. That’s a fact.
So, taking into consideration the above, the nation’s obsession with exercise and the sour expression on so many faces, I came to the inescapable conclusion that frowning people are actually exercising.
Now, don’t get me wrong. These
people are not exercise fanatics. Of course not. They
have the good sense to start slow and concentrate on one area to maximize
their results. (This is a prudent exercise program.) They save
big bucks on not buying designer sweats. They don’t even sweat,
thereby depressing the market demand for industrial strength deodorants.
(See I told it was prudent.)
It’s all so logical. The face is the one part of your body you can’t hide with immediate social sanction. (Try it you’ll see what I mean.) It’s a smaller area. The rewards are great. Who doesn’t want a firm, tight, smooth, well-toned… face?
Also, there’s the magnificently extensive frown support mechanism. Long lines, bills, insipid television, traffic, etc… (Remember: You never frown alone!) It’s obvious that our leaders support “frown-a-cise” because they’re always giving us something to frown about.
And let’s not forget the current status quo. People who frown are immediately accepted. People who smile are immediately suspect.
“Why is that person smiling?”
“I don’t know, Boss.”
give ’em a drug test.”
No wonder a smiling face is truly a vanishing breed and service with a smile is only a memory. Smile and you’re marked a troublemaker for life.
If baseball is the national pastime, then frowning is the national obsession and smiling is on the endangered species list.
Even doctors admit that some exercise is better than no exercise. So, I guess frowning, all things considered, is good for you, too.
However, when I see people all lined up frowning, I just can’t help it, I pursue my own exercise regimen and do them one better,